


Nobody's Poet

by 51PegasiB



Series: Team Player Verse [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drinking, Drunkenness, Literal Sleeping Together, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 11:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19376239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/51PegasiB/pseuds/51PegasiB
Summary: Darcy awakes from her nightmare remembering more than usual. She seeks distraction and finds Tony. Who, for reasons as yet unexplained, gets her drunk to avoid telling a story from his own sordid past.





	Nobody's Poet

“Jarvis. Hey. What time is it?”

“It is quarter to six, Darcy. Are you unwell?”

“Another nightmare,” she said. “Except I kind of remember it this time?”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Darcy closed her eyes and pulled in a long breath. “Not sure, honestly.”

“The offer stands,” he said.

She sat up and rested her back on the arm of the sofa and took several more deep breaths.

“I mean, it was just a dream, right?”

“Well, your biosigns all indicated sleep,” he agreed.

“And a dream can’t hurt me.”

“Everything I’ve ever learned leads me to believe that’s true, but it can often be indicative of some emotional hurt in your waking life.”

“Well, it was kind of…” She sighed. He stayed silent. She went on. “Kind of sexual. In a violent way. I was getting choked out, but a penis was involved.”

“Well, that sounds unpleasant,” said Jarvis.

“It was…really scary, yeah.”

“Would you like me to scan you for damage?”

“Uh…I don’t think I’m damaged.”

“I could make sure.”

“What do I have to do?”

“Standing up would make it a bit easier on me.”

“Ugh. So demanding.” She struggled to her feet.

“I’m reading no obvious signs of physical trauma but your heart rate is elevated.”

“Well I guess that’s not really a surprise.”

“Would you like me to contact any medical assistance?”

“Oh hell no. It was just a dream,” Darcy said. “I’m not a kid. I should already be feeling sheepish about this whole episode.”

“It seems to me you should be feeling no way other than what you feel.”

She sighed and fell back onto the sofa. “Well I don’t really feel like sleeping, now.”

“It is only six pm. Perhaps doing something distracting would help.”

“Such as?”

“Video games? Exercise? Sir would go to his workshop in your situation.”

“Well, I can’t go to his workshop.”

“You could, he’s in it.”

“What the fuck? It’s Saturday night.”

“I have promised Ms. Potts I would try to pull him out by a reasonable sleeping hour.”

“Ooh, where’s she?”

“At a business awards dinner, being escorted by Captain Rogers.”

“Lucky!”

“Which one?” Jarvis asked her.

“Uh…both? Put me in that sandwich?”

“I’m sure that could be arranged.”

Darcy giggled. She was feeling more like herself. “All right. I’mma go bug Tony, then. He’s distracting.”

“Should I let him know you’re coming?”

“Will he injure himself if it’s a surprise?”

“Not with what he’s working on at the moment.”

“Then nah,” She said.

* * *

Tony’s head was bobbing along to the drawn-out sexy strains of Iggy Pop’s “Nightclubbing” when she quietly opened the door and padded up to him on bare feet.

“Hi,” she said as the song faded out.

He jumped but only a little.

“What are you doing here? You should really be wearing shoes.”

“Fell asleep, had a nightmare. Wanted to be around people.”

“But you settled for me, huh?”

“Hah. You’re so almost funny.”

He held out his arms and she went in to hug him. He held her close and stroked her hair for a long beat.

“Want to help me with this?”

“Doubt I’m qualified,” she said.

“It’s all screws and soldering. Totally beginner-friendly,” he said.

“I’ve seen Jane solder, but I’ve never done it.”

“And in ten minutes, you won’t be able to say that any more,” he said, waving her over.

He did in fact teach her the basics pretty quickly and she only burned herself twice.

She was putting little pieces together as instructed. “What are we even making?” She asked.

“Oh, who knows?” He said. “I mean it’s going to be kind of cat-like but I don’t really know what it’s going to do.”

“Well, if it’s like a cat, maybe it doesn’t have to do anything. Or it can catch mice.”

“There better not be any mice in here for it to catch,” he said. “Anyway this is just the body. The brain isn’t written yet.”

“How do you even start writing a brain?” she asked.

“How much do you know about coding?”

“Basically…hello world,” she said.

“Ugh. What do they teach kids in grad school these days?”

“How to craft a policy memo and develop the basis for legislation.”

“All right, all right hotpants. Point taken. All skillsets are valuable.”

“Thank you,” she said primly.

“To some extent,” he added, with a sideways glance at her.

“STEM chauvinist.”

“Got me there,” he allowed. “Anyhow, basically when creatures evolved from the muck, what they did first was specialize, what they did next was glomp together.”

“Okay, you don’t need to bring me in at the beginning of time,” she said with an eyeroll.

“But it is the beginning of time for this little bot. So the first thing we code when we code a brain is a core routine that sets up learning for the thing. Basically give it the power not to write its own code wholesale, but to adapt and add to it based on other things. Even steal and adapt the odd bit of code from other stuff if that’s practicable. This little one won’t have much of that but Jarvis has a ton, don’t you, Jay?”

“I beg your…I’ve never stolen anything in my life. I have merely taken my inspiration everywhere.”

“See? Where does he pick up that stuff? I have no idea,” Tony shrugged and grinned.

“It works on him though,” Darcy said, giving one visible camera a wink.

“And here I am without a blushing protocol,” Jarvis said dryly.

“You don’t need one,” Tony said. “The Starks never blush.”

Darcy laughed at him. “Suuuure.”

“We don’t. Blushing is a response of self-consciousness or shame. I don’t have any of either.”

“I bet Pepper makes you blush a lot,” Darcy said.

“Nah,” he said.

“Bet I could,” she said.

He turned his head and quirked an eyebrow at her. “How much?”

“Ten?” she asked.

“Boo, boring,” he said. “A hundred.”

“I don’t have that kind of money to throw away.”

“You gotta have confidence in yourself, kid or you’ll never work this. Screw money. Let’s bet something else.”

“Okay…If I make you blush.

“Mmmmm?”

“You have to play my slave all day next Saturday.”

“And if you don’t you play mine all day?”

“Works for me.” She said.

“Fine. Since that’s the penalty day, let’s say you have till Thursday to make the attempt,” he said.

“Okay,” she said.

They shook on it, then Tony stretched lazily. “I’ve been working here for hours. Wanna have some pizza and chill out?”

“Sure,” she said.

“Jarvis. My usual and whatever the lady wants.”

“Pepperoni, mushroom and broccoli, please,” she said.

“Shall I check with the household to see if anyone else wants in?”

“Sure why not, Jay.” said Tony.

* * *

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen any of them,” said Clint.

“I can’t believe you’ve seen *all* of them,” Darcy countered.

“Seriously…Not even Three Stooges Meet Dracula? Not even Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein? And not you either?” Clint turned to Tony.

“Hey! Why me? They’re before *my* time just as much as before hers.”

“Well, not…*just* as much,” said Darcy.

“We’re almost the same age, Stark, and I saw em all on network tv.”

“Some of us aren’t constantly watching trash TV,” Tony countered.

“I beg your…it’s not TRASH. Those are CLASSICS,” said Clint. “I mean - you’ve seen all of every goddamned Star Trek show, I bet.”

“Are you implying Star Trek is trash TV?”

“I’m saying anything where someone gratuitously gets their shirt off is either trash TV or you in your workshop,” said Clint.

“I never take my shirt off gratuitously, Katniss. It’s always for a purpose.”

“You do so,” Clint said. “Right?” he appealed to Darcy.

“If you think I’m going to say anything that discourages anyone around here from taking their shirt off you have another thing coming,” said Darcy.

“Oof. I feel so objectified,” said Tony, grinning.

“How come I’m not getting objectified?” Clint demanded.

“Oh, you are. I’m an equal opportunity objectifier,” said Darcy. Besides. Archery arms.”

“Hey hey. Smithing arms!” Tony piped up, pointing at his own triceps.

“Do you guys ever not get in pissing contests?” she asked, shaking her head.

They both fell silent and exchanged a sheepish look.

She looked between them. “What?”

“Nothing,” said Tony.

Clint looked away.

“Oh seriously? There is a story here and I *must* know.”

“Learn to embrace disappointment, cupcake,” said Tony. “Who wants another beer?”

“Oh definitely me,” said Clint.

Tony strode briskly out.

“Come on. What?”

“It’s not to worry about, but like, we can’t talk about it. Everyone who was there signed a non-disclosure.”

“Seriously? Is this top-secret world save-age or something?”

“Uh…no. It’s world-saving adjacent,” Clint hedged.

“That is true of everything around here. I’ve signed an NDA for that.”

“You two still talking about this? You were supposed to distract her,” Tony said, handing over a beer.

“Yeah, he sucks at that,” said Darcy, swiping Clint’s beer.

“Hey!” Clint protested.

“Getting me drunk might be the only way to get me to forget,” she said, looking as innocent as possible.

“Then we’ll get you something stronger,” said Tony. “Martini?”

“EEchk,” said Darcy.

“Girly drink, then, coming up,” he strode towards the bar. He started pulling out bottles. “I’m sure we have enough fruit and soda back here to cover up all the tequila and rum.”

“Do you even know how to make girly cocktails?”

He grinned at her while slinging ingredients into a blender pitcher. “Have you met my girlfriend? Betcherass I do. I mean - she loves a good martini, unlike some philistines, but she demands a balsamic-reduction-garnished Bellini with brunch”

“Also he spent forty five years being a total player before he got her to say yes,” Clint added, with a burp.

“Did you just drink all that at once?”

“S’what I do when someone is trying to poach from me,” Clint told Darcy. He grinned and reached over the bar to swipe a bottle.

“Pretty sure I was actually a child for a number of years before I started getting laid, actually,” Tony said. “Use a glass, you Neanderthal.”

“You are no fun. If we’re doing serious drinking…”

“We weren’t,” said Darcy.

“Then drinking out of the bottle is just what I do.”

“At least wait till you’re drunker,” Tony said and handed a glass with ice over.

“Okay,” Clint said with a roll of his eyes.

Tony added ice and pulsed the blender several times, then got a glass out of the freezer, poured in the concoction, added a straw with a flourish and handed it over to Darcy.

“What is it?”

“Liquor.”

“I’m not drinking it unless I know what it is.”

“Wuss,” he said.

“What if I’m allergic?”

“You’re not allergic to any foods. Jarvis would have warned me.”

“Come on. Just…what is it, Tony?”

In response, he started to sing. “So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.” He came around to the front of the bar and grabbed her hand, pulling her in to dance. “And in the personals column. There was this letter I read.”

“What?” said Darcy. She wasn’t prepared for Clint to join in with a gusto that belied how recently they’d started drinking.

“DO YOU LIKE PIÑA COLADAS,” they both sang. “AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN.”

“Oh my god. You’re both huge dorks.”

“IF YOU’RE NOT INTO YOGA, IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN.”

“If you like making love at miiidnight,” Tony sang, emphasizing every consonant. “In the dunes on the cape.”

“Shall I play the actual track, sir?” Jarvis asked.

“That better not have been subtle commentary on my singing.”

“It was not that subtle,” said Natasha from the doorway.

“Hey! It’s Tasha!” Clint was refilling his glass. “Come and have one with us. Or three.”

“I thought you were too busy to hang out with us tonight,” said Tony.

“I have an alert set,” she said.

“For when the party starts?” Tony asked.

“For when Clint says the words ‘serious drinking’ while near the bar.”

“Well we’re doing some of that,” said Tony. “What’ll you have?”

Darcy, released from Tony’s dancing when he retreated behind the bar, picked up her piña colada and sipped.

“Why are we serious drinking?” Tasha asked, impassively. “Someone get bad news?”

“Nah,” Tony said.

“Good news?” she asked.

“Nope,” said Darcy before another long pull of fruity, slushy goodness.

“We’re distracting Darcy,” said Clint, conspiratorially.

“From what?” Natasha asked.

“Unsurprisingly…I don’t know,” said Darcy. “But they’re getting me drunk to avoid talking about it. And possibly to take advantage of a sweet young girl in the big city.”

Nat actually smiled at that. “I’d better stay, then.”

“You gonna take advantage of her too?” Tony asked. He handed over another chilled glass and a bottle of vodka straight from the freezer.

Natasha glanced sideways where Darcy was sitting on the stool, trying to flutter her eyelashes alluringly. “Nope. I think I’ll defend her honor,” she said in a confident, quiet way that went straight to Darcy’s panties.

“Oooooh,” said Darcy. “That was neat. Say it again.”

Natasha just smiled and poured herself what looked like way too much vodka.

Darcy sucked down the rest of her drink. “More, please,” she handed the glass back to Tony.

“Coming right up,” said Tony. He poured another half-glass worth for her, emptying the blender and then started mixing up something else.

“Want my advice, kid?” Clint said, at her shoulder suddenly. “Don’t try to keep up with her drinking or you. Will. Die.”

“I’m not stupid,” she said.

“I know. Just…I just wanted to warn you.”

“How are you this drunk already?”

“It’s a talent,” he said.

“Also he had about four shots plus a beer in the last half hour,” said Tony.

“Also that,” Clint agreed.

“So how drunk are you really?” she asked him.

“Wanna make out?” he asked her with a lazy grin that joined Natasha’s protectiveness in her underpants zone.  
She giggled. Maybe she was feeling the drinks more than she thought.

“What about you?” he turned to Natasha. “Any takers?”

Tony leaned over the bar and grabbed his shirt front, reeling him in for a kiss.

“Hey! I didn’t ask you,” Clint said, when Tony took a pause to breathe.

“You were gonna get around to it,” Tony said. He passed Darcy another drink.

“Margarita, before you ask,” he said.

“Oooh,” she pulled it in and took a deep pull.

“We should play spin-the-bottle,” Clint was telling Tony.

“Ooh. Good idea Clinton of Loxley, or strip-poker.”

“Nope,” said Natasha.

“We should play never have I ever,” said Darcy.

Natasha half-shrugged in acquiescence.

“Jay, send out the call. Pimp the drinking and the leftover pizza,” said Tony.

“There’s leftover pizza?” Natasha said. “Why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”

* * *

An hour later, when Pepper and Steve came in, Darcy was really fucking drunk. Thor and Jane had come downstairs to join them and Tony’s friend Rhodey had showed up about fifteen minutes in and joined in the game. Sam had peeked his head in on the way back from whatever he’d been doing but had declined to join them.

Darcy was so drunk what little filter she’d had was gone.

“I am tabled,” she was saying. “I’m utterly sidewalked.”

“We’ve broken the baby,” Clint said fondly.

“That’s how they say they’re drunk in London. They just add ‘ed’ to any like…thing. I’m tabled and chaired.”

They had ordered more pizzas some time ago and Steve had them in his hand when the elevator disgorged them.

“Oh my god. Steve!” She said. “You’re so beautiful and pizza is beautiful. I am so pizza’ed.”

Steve walked cautiously into the room and Darcy slid off her perch on the end of the sofa to hug his leg.

“I am pizza’ed,” she informed him, trailing her gaze all the way up his be-suited frame to his look of helpless bewilderment.

“Does that mean you want the pizza or you’ve already had some?” he asked.

Pepper swept by to relieve Steve of the pizzas and deposit them on the coffee table, where they were fallen upon by the assembled drunkards.

“It means she’s had too much to drink,” said Pepper.

“Wasn’ too much,” Darcy protested. “It was way less than Natasha.”

“That…probably isn’t saying much,” Steve said.

“You’re so pretty,” Darcy said. She stroked his leg. It was a nice leg.

“Uh…thank you…,” he said. His ears were turning pink.

“Pepper’s pretty too. I wanted to be in a you guys sandwich. I told Jarvis.”

“Uh…is that another euphemism?”

“I…yes. I think so,” said Darcy. “I may not,” she took care to enunciate. “Be thinking clearly.”

“I’d say you’re a little foggy, yes,” Pepper agreed.

“You’re so pretty,” Darcy said to her. “I wish I was pretty like you.”

“You’re pretty like you. I like that much better,” Pepper said.

“I wanna be in a you and Steve sandwich. I told Jarvis.”

Pepper smiled. “I think that can be arranged.”

“Th’s what Jarvis said.”

“But not tonight. You’re a little too drunk tonight.”

“I am,” Darcy agreed, petting Steve’s leg more. “Completely and utterly potted and spaded.”

Pepper smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead. Darcy drifted for a while. Being on the floor made ignoring conversations swirling around her super easy. She smiled at laughter without really knowing what had elicited it and didn’t really start paying attention till Steve tried to shift.

“Can I…have my leg back?” Steve asked.

“But I like it. It’s such a good one.”

“I kind of…need it.”

“Can I touch your butt?”

“Now?”

“It’s right here and it looks so good.”

“Jesus. Darcy.”

“Please?”

“Uh…okay. Sure.”

Darcy let her petting hand slide up and appreciated Steve’s ass covered in the smooth fabric of the suit.   
“This is a nice suit, too,” she said.

“Pepper chose it….Uh…Darcy. I don’t mean to be…uh. Can I help you get back to your room?”

“But we’re drinking!” Darcy protested.

“It’s after one in the morning, I think the drinking is breaking up,” said Steve. Darcy looked around and sure enough, Thor and Jane were nowhere in evidence, Nat and Clint were leaning on each other heading for the door and Pepper was sweet-talking Rhodey.

“Oh,” she said. She frowned, thinking about going back to her dark room and sinking into another nightmare. It seemed inevitable. “Oh.”

“Are you okay?” Steve asked.

“I just. I didn’t want to be alone,” she said.

“Well I could…for a little while,” He said.

“No..it’s just…I’ve been having bad dreams. Every night.”

“Oh,” his voice softened. “I’m sorry. That’s awful.”

“Except last night. But then I had one today when I tried to nap.”

“What was different about last night?” Steve asked.

Darcy blinked and thought. “Well, I was sleeping with other people.”

“Ah,” said Steve. “Well..uh…would you like me to…um…come sit with…”

“Will you sleep with me?” Darcy blurted. “In my bed?”

He squatted down to look in her eyes. His face was serious as he examined her. “Yeah. Let me just…I’m going to go get my pajamas okay? Then I’ll come down with you.”

“Should I wait here?”

“If you want,” he said.

“Okay,” she responded.

“Okay,” she said again to the empty room as she sat in the middle of the floor. The alcohol was still buzzing through her, blunting the edges of her thinking but not her feeling. She half felt like she might cry, but that was silly. Captain America was coming to save her.

* * *

He came back and escorted her to her apartment. He was in soft grey pajama pants and a blue t-shirt.

She started shucking clothes as soon as she was inside with the door closed behind her. He chased after her, collecting the castoffs while protesting.

“Darcy…what? Why?”

“I don’t like them,” she said. “They’re constricting.”

“Well, let’s find you pajamas,” he said, very deliberately not looking her way.

“What is your deal? You’ve seen me naked before.”

“Not like this.”

“Like what? How many ways can someone be nekkid?”

“Not when you…you’re judgment is compromised.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, I don’ want to make you uncomfortable.” She felt sheepish as she went into the bedroom to find something. She grabbed the pink dress nightgown thing Pepper had given her and put it on. “Steve? I’m decent,” she said.

He came in and deposited the pile of her clothes on a chair.

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable,” she said.

“You’re fine,” he said. “I just…I don’t want to take advantage.”

“Well, you wouldn’t. I know that.”

“Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be tempted to.”

“I don’t know what advantage you think you can take. We’ve fucked. I was pretty into it. Odds are good I would be again.”

“And I hope you will be, but not while you’re drunk.”

“Kay,” she said. “What side do you want?”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

Darcy got in on her usual side and he slid into bed on the opposite side.

“Is it okay if I snuggle you?” she asked him in a small voice.

“Absolutely,” he said with a smile. He held his arm out and she rolled in close, pillowing her head on his shoulder.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She still felt tense.

Steve must have noticed. “I’ve got you,” he said. “You don’t have to be afraid.”

She tried to believe him as she let herself slip into sleep on a river of booze.


End file.
